I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
