We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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