Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Randomize
