yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I understand Curling. That high.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
