Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize