ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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