Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
