hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
