I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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