They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
