What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Panties = found
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
