just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize