lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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