do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
