Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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