Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
