thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
