You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
