Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
