My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she told me i tasted like america
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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