Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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