whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
