Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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