But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
