lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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