Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
