he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
