How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
