I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
