You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
