Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
