Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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