SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
