Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
