His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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