ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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