I met the friendliest cop last night
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
