I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
