the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
