he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
