All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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