lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
wow bdsm is so cute
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize