grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
