I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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