I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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