I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He? As in you personified your dick?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize