Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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