I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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