I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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