your room smells of hookers.
And success
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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