hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
