He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
