Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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