Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
