Pants 0. Shit 1.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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