Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
