4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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