at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
