Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
