I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
