Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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