Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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