Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
