I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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