Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
