Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
