Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Two words: nipple clamps
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